Thursday, February 14, 2008

Morty and Moishe Love us Some White People

First, We told you about White Whine. Next, Morty was on White Whine. And now we recommend... Stuff White People Like. Thanks, Maria!

#55 Apologies
White people know that their ancestors did some messed up things. As a result, it has become hard wired for them to apologize for almost anything.

In fact, white people are so used to apologizing that they start all sentences that might cause disagreement with “I’m sorry.” For example “I’m sorry, but Garden State was a better film than Hard Eight.”

In other cases, white people will apologize without being asked.

“Excuse me Dylan, you dropped a piece of paper in front of my desk.”

“Oh, sorry about that!”

It’s just that easy! Just point it out and they’ll apologize.

Sometimes if you are out late at night and a white person irritates someone at a night club or a bar, the first thing they will do is apologize in rapid fire mode in hopes it will stop them from getting their ass kicked. This technique has a surprisingly high success rate, as the aggressor immediately knows that fighting this person will be very easy, with little satisfaction.

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