Funny, but True

I know this is ruining Moishe's chances of appearing on Kudlow and Co., but c'mon! From The Big Picture.

The Modern Kudlow To Standard English Translation Guide
Kudlowism : Modern Translation
“The Greatest Story Never Told”:
Early stages of a normal economic expansion.
"Goldilocks Economy":
Latter stages of expansion; cracks
in the façade are beginning to show.
“A possibility of Recession exists”:
The recession has already begun.
“A Mild Recession”: We are in a broad and deep recession.
“We are in a serious recession”: Stock up on canned food, bottled water and handgun ammo.
“I don’t see how this can get any worse”: BUY!